I like the last one

#1
My wife told me: “Sex is better on holiday.” Not the best postcard to receive.

Jesus fed 5000 with five loaves and two fish. That’s not a miracle that’s Tapas.

My name is Fin, it's very hard to end emails without sounding pretentious.

If I discovered a new animal I’d call it a Quorn just to fuck with the vegetarians.

I called BT to report a nuisance caller, they said 'oh no, not you again.

I dislike Country Music, I don't denigrate those to whom it means a lot.
For those who do like Country Music denigrate means to put down.

Watching the London Marathon, one runner was dressed as a chicken another as an egg.
I thought: 'This could be interesting'.