Just for Gordon & Kim

Winglider

Ex-Wiinglider
IBA Member
#1
Mother Superior called all the nuns together! and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."
 

Winglider

Ex-Wiinglider
IBA Member
#2
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK!
Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFU! L! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
 

Winglider

Ex-Wiinglider
IBA Member
#3
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, in my textiles, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I , and proceeded to quietly ride out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I turned round and quietly rode back into the garage, turned on the radio low, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.


I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,

"The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied,


"Can you believe my stupid husband is out on his motorbike in that?"

And that's how the fight started...
 

Kim Leeson

IBAUK Shopkeeper
Premier Member
IBA Member
#4
Mother Superior called all the nuns together! and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."
I never get tired of Chardonnay :rolleyes: