After life

[Ahamay]

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death.
Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact:
" Marion .... Marion "
"Is that you, Bob?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course.
I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.
Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to the golf course again.
Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"
"Oh, Bob! Are you in Heaven?"

"No --- I'm a rabbit in Kent

 

[Ahamay]

A Cornish man goes to the barber for a haircut and is told when he tries to pay "I can't charge you for the haircut, sir, as I'm doing this for my community service." The customer is shocked as his haircut is among the best he's ever had. Next morning the barber finds a dozen boxes of Cornish fudge on his doorstep, ordered by the happy customer as a thank you.

A few days later, a man from Melton Mowbray is in town and goes for a haircut. He is told the same message - the barber is doing the job for community service so can't accept payment. Next morning the barber finds a dozen lovely Melton Mowbray pork pies on his doorstep, which the customer has had delivered as a thank you.

A few days later a Yorkshireman goes through the same process - great haircut, no payment because the barber is doing it for community service. Next morning, the barber finds a dozen Yorkshiremen on his doorstep waiting for a free haircut.