BBR2025 - Park and Ride Coddiwomple

Robert Higgs

Well-Known Member
Brit Butt Rally 2025 (or Confessions of an Also-Ran)
Well, things did not look too promising even before the rally started. My BMW R1250R had been plagued by problems with the keyless ride, the original fob was replaced earlier this year under warranty but the replacement was also munching its way through batteries at an alarming rate so the bike was back at Stratstone Tunbridge Wells for further investigation and was still there come rally day, so it would have to be my Triumph Scrambler 900 (tank range about 150 miles although looking for filling stations at about the 125 mile mark to be on the safe side). On the plus side the suspension has been completely rebuilt, YSS shocks rear and Andreani fork cartridges front which transformed the roadholding and a brand new pair of Michelin P6 tyres for the rally completes the picture. Only snag now is the saddle which is purgatory after about an hour and a half…..

A good run to Burton on Trent on the Friday, finished scrubbing in the new tyres and picked up three BBT locations on the way. Bike checked, settled into my room, a pint of beer, dinner and off the rally briefing. After a browse through the rally book and given the limitations of the bike (and me) I decided that a run down through East Anglia to home in South East London on the Saturday, ride round Kent and back via the Cotswolds on Sunday should give a do-able ride respectable score so planned on that basis. The distance-based bonuses were not really on but three owl-related additionsl bonuses would yield another 1000 points so that would be something to look out for. Route planned, nightcap and off to bed for an early start.

The weather was dry and the forecast for the weekend was good so things looked promising. I got into a good rhythm on my way to the first bonus although that didn’t last long, the A52 was blocked by roadworks just the other side of the A1 and my satnav could not seem to find a way around the problem. Suitably confounded I rode down to Colsterworth, turned left and kept going until the satnav finally stopped trying to make me do a U-turn and got me to the first bonus, the Princess Gwenllian monument. Photo taken and e-mailed to Rally HQ, a pat on the head for a couple of friendly and inquisitive dogs out for a walk and off to the second location at Hunstanton, no problems.

From there it would only be a short ride to the next location, a statue of the famous racehorse Persimmon. Now, at the briefing we had been advised that this location is on the king’s Sandringham Estate and that there was a possibility that we could be challenged by a curious estate worker. I arrived just as the various workers were leaving base to go out onto the estate; I had just set everything up when, sure enough, one of the workers pulled up and would down his window, “Here we go” I thought. Turned out he was a biker and just wanted a natter, extolling the virtues of his Triumph Street Triple (nice). After a few minutes’ pleasantries he drove off, photo taken and e-mailed and I drove off too.

On to Wells next the Sea for a shot of the signal box at Wells station, on the way there my thoughts turned to owls and I had a spot of luck riding past the Sculthorpe Moor Nature Reserve, their signboard noted that it is a “hawk and owl trust”. Stop, U-turn and a photo of the sign and on to Wells. There I had a second stroke of luck; having got a shot of the signal box I headed for the shop on the platform to buy a cup of tea where I spotted a carved wooden owl on the platform, owl 2. After a welcome cuppa and use of the facilities I made my way back through Wells; now it’s the sort of village where houses have names rather than numbers and as I meandered through the 20 m.p.h. speed limit I spotted it – a house called “The Barn” with a sign with a picture of a (barn) owl on it, owl 3 and 1000 points in the bag – hooray!
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Suitably buoyed up at this point I did just wonder if I might be just able to challenge for a win…..maybe…..no - don’t be silly!

An easy ride to the Desert Rats Memorial and a photo of the tank (don’t forget to include the bike) and on to Potter Heigham Bridge; now a photo of the bridge was worth 250 points, the same with a boat passing underneath would score 500 points. A quick scan up the river and yes, there was a boat on its way. After what seemed like for ever (about ten minutes) the pleasure boat finally glided gracefully under the bridge and obliged me with a shot that bagged double points – jolly good! On to the Hovercraft Monument (weird), the delightfully eccentric House in the Clouds at Thorpeness, St Michael’s Gate (no Marks and Spencer’s shop there though) and on to my final Saturday location at Stow Maries Aerodrome and…..oh, for goodness’ sake! It was closed for the day with a formidable looking barrier preventing me from getting to the location. Fortunately there was a signboard with the location named on it so I photographed that along with a shot of the barrier for the record in case my photograph was questioned post rally (wise move as it turned out).

I then enjoyed an uneventful ride home, as luck had it I had sufficient fuel to get me there and I arrived at my local garage with a dribble left in the tank. It was just getting dark and I filled the tank, pictured the receipt and odometer to start my rest bonus and went home after a really lovely day’s ride - I had actually managed to plan my ride and ride my plan. Out for a very welcome curry and beer or two with my wife, a night in my own bed, up and out early; back to the garage to buy a Mars bar and get a receipt, took the necessary shot to end the rest period and off we went for Sunday’s adventure.

A short ride to my first stop the Cattle Screen Bridge at Farningham, a stone’s throw from the Pied Bull pub which has been associated with motorcycles for a long time and hosts an informal vintage ‘bike gathering every Boxing Day – worth a visit. On to the Bredgar and Wormshill Light Railway where staff were opening up and were slightly surprised to see this biker turning up – they kindly offered to show me a steam engine being fired up but time was not permitting, maybe another time. So down to quaint Winchelsea to photograph the arch along a very narrow lane (note to self – maybe I was better off with the Triumph as trying to turn the Bee-Emm round could have been interesting). Alfriston was the next port of call, it took several goes with a selfie stick to get me, bike and location in one shot much, I suspect, to the amusement of passing locals observing my antics.

From there it was a drag along the A27, not helped by roadworks which, my satnav informed me, would delay me by half an hour or so. By the time I got to the A27/A23 interchange traffic was stationary but on the little Triumph I wriggled through, eliminated the delay and set off up the A23 rejoicing, but not for long as it was all about to go pear-shaped. Just leaving the A23 the satnav flashed up an unwelcome message, “Cannot calculate route” and the route duly disappeared, not good. I found a place to stop and after several minutes fiddling about finally got the thing to take me (I hoped) to the next location although things did not look too promising at this point.

All was well, having arrived at Holmbury St Mary and photographed and submitted picture of the village pump the satnav went completely berserk and informed me that there were something in excess of 120,000 miles to the next stop (and I would arrive there at 9:05 in the morning…). Now a fertle on my calculator indicated that, on that basis, at a steady 30 m.p.h. it would take around five and a half months to get there (and a definite dnf). No amount of fiddling made any difference so I switched it off, called Rally HQ to say that I would be calling it a day and then my wife to say that I would be home early. Well, she suggested that I give it (and me) time to cool off and try again so with nothing to lose I munched on a couple of energy bars and took a lengthy quaff from the water bottle. Having switched the satnav back on I went to “where to” and selected my next location Combe Gibbet; the distance and time seemed about right to I texted Rally HQ to say that I was back in the hunt and off went.

Well, Combe Gibbet is in the middle of nowhere and access from the car park is around 400m up a hill so I marched me up to the top of the hill, took the shot and marched me down again. At this point I took the decision to head straight for HQ as I had lost a lot of time with all the satnav shenanigans; the Cotswolds would probably be heaving with traffic, in addition I didn’t want to risk the satnav taking me somewhere silly or packing up altogether and leaving me stranded with an ignominious dnf.
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Suffice it to say that it got me back to Rally HQ with around forty minutes to spare I could record a finish and breathe a sigh of relief. However, it wasn’t quite over as Rallymaster Tom queried the non-compliant image of Stow Maries Aerodrome, having showed him the image of the barrier, it was all understood and image reinstated. At which point I noticed that one of my “owl” shots was missing and Hunstanton Lighthouse had not been accepted as deemed to be “out of time”. After discussion with Martin and Tom and demonstrating that the images taken were valid the two fair and just judges reinstated them, too, so I had a score of 8,570 points having covered 1,176 miles over the weekend. Out of the 24 starters I believe that there were 6 dnf’s and my score managed 14th place out of the remaining 18 which, under the circumstances, I did not feel was too shabby at all.

In spite of the satnav blip I had had a great weekend’s riding and thoroughly enjoyed it all; to cap it all my ride home on Monday was pretty much all motorway and not one traffic jam all the way (including the Blackwall Tunnel approach which is normally solid). My thanks to Tom, Martin and Bob (and anyone else involved) for their time and effort organising and administering the rally, very much appreciated. And I’ve got the Bee-Emm back now so looking forward to next year’s event which, as I understand it, will be tougher as Tom considered this year’s too easy – bring it on, I say!
 
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