A few cheap shots.

#1
I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could her her check her balance, so I gave her a shove.

My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

The wife has been missing a week now, the Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I have been back to the charity shop to get all her clothes.​
What do you call a punch drunk Japanese boxer who's father has diarrhoea?
A slap happy jappy with a crap happy pappy.