According to this article, the 25 ill-effects below may result from inadequate sleep. I have helped by indicating their relationship to, say, a BBG attempt:
1. Irritability
Bloody middle lane hogs.
2. Headaches
Should have tried your helmet before leaving home.
3. Inability to learn
Clackett Lane services always has the most expensive petrol.
4. Weight gain
Too many pork pies from On The Run.
5. Poor vision
Birdshit on the visor.
6. Heart disease
No, it's actually homesickness.
7. Slowness
You thought Friday afternoon was a good time for the M6.
8. Infection
Failed to zip your jacket in the rain.
9. Economic risk-taking
M6 toll.
10. Overproduction of urine
Shouldn't have had the last coffee should you?
11. Distractedness
Yes she was cute.
12. Less effective vaccines
No vaccine available for "fell off motorbike".
13. Impaired speech
My goodness it's cold in the Cairngorms.
14. Colds
Refer to 8 & 13.
15. Gastrointestinal problems
Refer to 4.
16. Car accidents
Fortunately BBGs are ridden on motorbikes only so this doesn't apply.
17. Depleted sex drive
Nobody should be having sex while riding a motorbike.
18. Pain
Get an AirHawk.
19. Diabetes
A diet of Coca-cola and Mars bars will do that to you, try beef jerky instead.
20. Sloppiness
Failing to close zippers when leaving petrol stations on motorways.
21. Cancer
I'd like to think it takes more than one BBG to catch cancer.
22. Memory problems
Did I get a VAT receipt at Dover?
23. Genetic disruption
Refer to 17.
24. Unhappiness and depression
750 miles of cold & wet, 85 minutes behind schedule, heading west into Wales in the dark.
25. Death
don't have no mercy in this land.
1. Irritability
Bloody middle lane hogs.
2. Headaches
Should have tried your helmet before leaving home.
3. Inability to learn
Clackett Lane services always has the most expensive petrol.
4. Weight gain
Too many pork pies from On The Run.
5. Poor vision
Birdshit on the visor.
6. Heart disease
No, it's actually homesickness.
7. Slowness
You thought Friday afternoon was a good time for the M6.
8. Infection
Failed to zip your jacket in the rain.
9. Economic risk-taking
M6 toll.
10. Overproduction of urine
Shouldn't have had the last coffee should you?
11. Distractedness
Yes she was cute.
12. Less effective vaccines
No vaccine available for "fell off motorbike".
13. Impaired speech
My goodness it's cold in the Cairngorms.
14. Colds
Refer to 8 & 13.
15. Gastrointestinal problems
Refer to 4.
16. Car accidents
Fortunately BBGs are ridden on motorbikes only so this doesn't apply.
17. Depleted sex drive
Nobody should be having sex while riding a motorbike.
18. Pain
Get an AirHawk.
19. Diabetes
A diet of Coca-cola and Mars bars will do that to you, try beef jerky instead.
20. Sloppiness
Failing to close zippers when leaving petrol stations on motorways.
21. Cancer
I'd like to think it takes more than one BBG to catch cancer.
22. Memory problems
Did I get a VAT receipt at Dover?
23. Genetic disruption
Refer to 17.
24. Unhappiness and depression
750 miles of cold & wet, 85 minutes behind schedule, heading west into Wales in the dark.
25. Death
don't have no mercy in this land.
Last edited: