As most accidents happen at home, I am spending as much time as possible outdoors in order to safeguard the emergency services people. I am doing it for their own good, selfless and considerate, that's me.
The reason I’m doing a 1000 miles in 24hrs officer is, I suffer from piles and the vibration helps shrink them and stop the intense itching.
Well officer it’s like this, my wife stripped off, lay on the kitchen table and said “oooh go on then, put your leathers and your helmet on and go to town”, so....… here I am.
Look here constable; I have just bought this 40th Edition 1250 GS with panniers and I’m practicing filtering, these empty roads are the only ones I can filter down.
Officer; the Regulations state that film and TV production can still go ahead, so the reason I’m screaming around these lanes at night on my adventure bike with my w***ker lights is; I’m doing a remake of Close Encounters of the Third Kind.