Uh oh!


Latvian rider transport!!!!!!
Premier Member
I can't believe it, I've been sacked on the first day of my new job as a signwirter!

Bought a packet of those animal shaped biscuits from the supermarket today, but had to take them back as the seal was broken

If alcohol can damage your short term memory, just think what alcohol can do.

When I was a baby my parents used to bathe me in cheap Australian lager. It wasn't until I was 18 that I found out I'd been fostered.

Dad always used to say: ‘the best bit about the fighting was the make-up sex.’ Great dad, terrible boxer.

My car broke down today so I looked under the bonnet and saw a bat sitting on the top of engine.
It started talking to me “ Hello Mark, you’re looking devilishly handsome , love your outfit, in fact I’ve seldom seen you looking as good”
It was them that I knew what the problem was. Bat flattery...........

My wife runs an online self help group called plastic surgery anonymous. I was asking if she had had seen an upsurge during lockdown. She said 'yes, lots of new faces this week'

I've always believed in fighting fire with fire. But sadly, it cost me my dream job in the Fire Brigade.

Terrible news. Just found out that a mate is addicted to Viagra. No one's taking it harder than his missus

Temperatures dropping to freezing. The council spreaders were out as I was walking. "Bastards" I muttered through gritted teeth

My obese parrot died today, I'm heartbroken, but it's a big weight off my shoulder

My next door neighbour says I'm a bit of a looker. Well, peeping f*cking Tom is what she actually said!

Just been on EBay and managed to buy a rare signed picture of Henry Winkler for £3.99.... Happy days.

I got very drunk last night, and ate some Christmas decorations. This morning I woke up with tinselitis.