Old people's jokes.


IBA Member
Old couple
An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about s*x?" he asked, rather tentatively. "I would like it infrequently ", she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that one word or two?"​
A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved
grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits,
and all sorts of things.

The grandfather is saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be

Another outburst and she hears the grandfather calmly say,

"It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in

At the checkout the little horror is throwing items out of the cart.

Grandfather says again in a controlled voice, "William, relax buddy, don't get

We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool William."

Very impressed, the woman goes outside to where the grandfather is loading his
groceries and the boy into the car.

She says, "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know
how you did it.

That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive
he got, you just calmly kept saying that things would be okay. William is very
lucky to have you as his grandfather."

"Thanks," says the grandfather, "but I am William, this little bastard's name is
Week 51 so far so good